Colin and Brad show recap - 2005

 Today, I  remembered I have/had a LiveJournal account. I found several recaps of Colin and Brad shows, so I'll post some here. (Yes, I used to bring a small notebook, and I could write FAST.)

ReCap -Colin/Brad w/Greg - Atlantic City - 7/8/05

I waited in line for an hour and a half for the doors to open. Then I sat by myself for another hour and a half waiting for the show to start. Then, 10 minutes late, the show started. Brad started by noting there was an empty table right in front. "Well, fuck 'em if they can't get here on time. We're even late, they think we have time to keep waiting?" Colin then asked how many people had ever seen Whose Line and thought the performers had been prepared beforehand. A smattering of applause. "Well, we have a term for you people...bastards!" Laughter. Back to Brad. "Okay, we're going to be asking you for suggestions all night, so let's practice now. Yell out your name! (lots o' shouting) Yell out your favorite dessert topping! (lots more shouting) Yell out your zodiac sign! Hey, someone yelled Cool Whip! Yeah, we have nitrous oxide rising. (laughter)

MOVING BODIES: Donovan moved Colin and Wendy moved Greg. The scene was Oktoberfest in Germany. What stood out the most was Donovan's movement of Colin. Brad had done the usual "If you want to move an arm, do this, move a leg, tap here, you want him to go home with you, touch right around here (groin area). And don't forget they're human." Well, apparently Donovan forgot. He wasn't tapping Colin. He was pushing him, chopping him, etc., nothing was gentle about this. At one point, Greg was supposed to be dancing, but his legs weren't moving, and Colin's advice was, "A kick to the leg usually works." Eventually Donovan ended up moving Colin by molding himself to Colin's back and carrying/dragging him across the stage. For me, it was more cringe-worthy than funny. Brad did intercept at one point and said they'd need Colin for later so go easy on him. Greg did end up dancing, but very awkwardly. "No wonder we lost the war!" The game ended soon after, while Colin was still able to remain upright.

JEOPARDY: Someone (probably Colin, he hosted) called a man up on stage and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, Howard Hesseman, from 'Head of the Class.'" This gentleman, whose real name was John, did resemble Howard. Brad, Greg, and John lined up on-stage and played Jeopardy. "What's your name? John. What do you do? Work." (Ed: Ahhhh, John was gonna be a BIG help tonight.) Greg was Vinnie Falzorino, who worked in import/export in Jersey. What did he import and export? "Don't ask. Some went by small boats, some went by small planes." Brad was Imgay Babaloo, a craps dealer who worked part-time driving a pushcart down the boardwalk. He keeps his babaganoosh in his pants. (Seemingly innocent comment, but wait...)

[u]Various categories: Suggestions: Questions[/u]:
Foreign Foods: Sushi. Greg: What do you do when you have a lawsuit against a broad? (BIG Italian swagger, accent, the whole bit. Jersey LOVED it.)
Historical People: Benjamin Franklin (mine). Greg: What do I have a fuckin' pocketful of right now? (MUCH Cheering from the crowd.)
Big Boats (Category chosen by John): Titanic. Brad: What is better than a gin and tonic?
Exotic Animals: Llama. Brad: What comes between rama and ding-dong? (many laughs)
Tropical countries: Aruba. Brad: What does a Model A horn sound like?

(At this point, Colin awarded John the points, "pity points," as he called them. John was trying, but failing. We were hoping, but he couldn't quite come up with anything.)

Things Sold in a Drugstore: Prophylactics. Brad: What's the opposite of antilactics?
Foreign Cities: Casablanca. John: What is a white house? (YAY! We all cheered him for that one!)
John's category: Big Stars: Cary Grant. Brad(I think): What do you have to do when Grant is drunk?
Things in the Solar System: Uranus. (Yeah, they took it.) Brad: Where do I sometimes keep my babaganoosh? (Ick.)
Elements of the Periodic Table: Magnesium. John really tried on this one, and I THINK he was headed for What happens when you forget your magnum? or something like that, but John gave up in the middle of trying to say it. Too bad, he was almost there.
Winning question: 3-Syllable words: Cannibal. Brad: What is better than a can of cow?

I'm not sure this was a successful endeavor, bringing in the audience member, but what the hell, they tried.

NEW CHOICE: Greg called while Brad and Colin worked in an office. Colin worked for Brad and told him the xerox was out of toner (NC) out of dark powder (NC) on fire. I'll have to write a memo about it. (New physical choice) I'll spray paint a memo. (NPC) I'll chisel a memo. (NPC) I'll semaphore "waves arms" We're out of toner!"
Brad was going to fire Colin. Why? I've worked here for 15 years! (NC) I've worked here for 5 minutes! (NC) I built this place out of wood and mud! (NC) Give me 15 minutes and I'll do something fantastic! Brad: Well, the business is failing. "Stationery Supplies" (NC) Stationery and crap (NC) Outhouses and Paper is going out of business. You have any ideas? Colin: Yes, I have a new slogan! Where there's pee, there's mud! (New less disgusting choice). (I don't remember the new choice, we were all laughing by now.) It happened that the business was failing because they'd built it on the beach and it was dissolving. They ended up laminating the stationery store so the ocean wouldn't dissolve the building Colin had built using adobe. Greg was RELENTLESS on the New Choicing, and these are only a few of what Brad and Colin came up with. VERY funny playing of this game.

Crime Scene Confession: Colin left, and Brad and Greg took suggestions. It ended up, that "While wearing a sundress, a clown nose, and boxing gloves, Colin bungee jumped naked on the boardwalk and snorted a slurpee in Rancocus at Zippy's Zeppelin Rental Center and left behind an ocelot (my suggestion) and his teeth."
Greg and Brad were relentless on Colin, to the point where he asked "Which one of you is the GOOD cop?" Neither one was, it turned out. *G* They got the clothing relatively quickly, with Greg putting up his dukes at one point for the boxing gloves. (Side note: I didn't see him, but the guy who suggested "sundress" was, according to Brad, "the least likely person on the planet to suggest "sundress." Must have been some big biker-looking dude.) For the crime, Colin said it wasn't easy in those clothes. Various hints were "You think you have a monopoly on crime" and "You think you're one hot property." Eventually, Colin got that he bungee-jumped on the boardwalk, and he started to sing to the tune of "Under the Boardwalk." "On the boardwalk, I bungeejumped," to which Brad responded, "Shut up, Otis!" Then Colin got Slurpee (hints involving brain freeze) and he guessed "I porked it?" Greg, very outraged, "You can't pork a Slurpee! Can you?"
Rancocus was easily the most painful word of the night. Colin got Ran, coke. Then Brad and Greg were drinking the cokes, saying "WE have them, you don't." And Colin would go "I have none." "You have them." "I'm thirsty." I, we, you, them, they...he came out with every freakin' pronoun known to man except US. FINALLY, they got to US. We had died by then. *G* And then Colin continued to kill us, because Brad made him say what he had so far. Colin said Slurpees, plural, and Brad made him repeat it all over again. Grooooooaaaannnnn...And more death trying to get Colin to say "Center." The clues were good, Colin just kept going around and around and around and MISSING the center. (Get it? LOL)
They got teeth okay. Then Greg gave the entire description of an ocelot, leaving Colin to come up with "ocelot" in his final answer. He looked puzzled for the longest time, even though Greg's clue sounded like it came straight out of Encyclopedia Britannica. Brad chimed in with "Not Jaguar, not this cat, not this cat, not this cat, hey, Greg, I'll email you the answer." And that's where the lightbulb came on over Colin's head and he FINALLY strung it all together. WHEW!!!

STYLES: Brad and Greg played a scene where Brad had borrowed Greg's can-opener. Greg knocked on the door, then said "Fuck it," and kicked it in. (I loved that...getting mad over a can-opener.) Brad was still using the can-opener to open a million cans of tuna.
Gangster-Greg-That tuna could be your sister if you don't give the opener back!
Sci-Fi- Brad knelt down, and, as Yoda, dared Greg to take the can-opener away from him. They had a light-saber fight over the can-opener, all with Brad as Yoda and down on his knees the whole time.
Western- Greg: "All right, short deformed kid." He gave Brad some sort of John Wayne/Yoda name I can't remember.
Broadway-they sang and danced about opening cans of tuna
After School Special- Greg got upset that Brad wasn't sharing, and Brad make a crack about Bumble and opening a "cannabees"...groooannnn.
Romance, which quickly turned into Porn, which went to Aerobics video, which went to Porn Aerobics, somehow leaving Greg bent over a stool, and then Documentary, and they "Opened up a can of Whoop Ass!" End of game. (Notes got weak at the end there due to the laughing of the writer. *G*)
Greg tried a reference to the Campbell Soup kids that three people in the crowd got (I was one), so afterwards, he asked how many of us had HEARD of the Campbell Soup kids? Brad said no, but he remembered the Lipton sisters. Greg found that really funny for some reason. I dunno...

SENTENCES: Greg and Colin started out, and the discussion was a war over washing hair. (Brad told Colin to "think back." That earned him a LOOK. *G*) It was in a Shakespeare style. Greg (Urethra) was the ghost of Colin's (Testicles, pronounced "Testicleez") father. First sentence up? "That's bullshit." Brad (Vulva) came in as Colin's rival in the war. Lots of comments along the lines of, "I'll sack you, Testicles!" "Don't you have the balls for it, Testicles?" The sentences were almost incidental to the game, though Brad did pull a good one. "Where did I put my sausage?" His response to it was, "After all, what is a vulva without a sausage?" Greg also had a good one. "Yo, what up, dog?" "Hey, I got funky in the afterlife." Greg, you're funky now, you silly goose. *G*

MOUSETRAPS: Greg introduced, and he asked a 9 y/o boy in the front for an activity two people might do together at home. As he's talking, some loud drunk woman in the back was yelling SEX! SEX! SEX! Greg's going, "Look, he's 9. I don't think that's a relevant topic yet! That attitude really turns me OFF sex. "Hey Murray! SEX! SEX! SEX!" Greg was GOOD, we were all dying. Colin and Brad had to "play Monopoly." Then the game began and traps were snapping and flying and Brad and Colin did their masochist thing and crawled around looking for a contact lens and snapped each other. Greg was going around carrying traps too. He got his, though, when a trap snapped RIGHT ON his finger. That hurt, dammit, you could just tell. But he deserved it, being the only one NOT blindfolded. Gotcha, Greg. *G*

Good ending. Justice served. Great show.


The shows ROCKED. The guys took many of my shout-outs. Thanks in particular to Brad, who, after shutting me off in Oregon, pointed to me Friday night for a suggestion. And an ocelot goes out to Greg, for that was the suggestion I gave. The drag about having these shows in a casino is a lot of drunk people go to them, and yell out drunken ideas. "Russian gay midget porn" (No, I'm not kidding) and so forth. Oh yeah, they're REALLY gonna use that one. Effin' idiots. Maybe that's why my suggestions stand out. They're INTELLIGENT. It doesn't always work in an alcoholic environment, ('cause the brain cells are drowning at a fast and furious pace), but the guys seem to like them, so I'll keep throwing them out and seeing what gets caught.

I hate when someone writes a negative review of something I loved the hell out of. (Yeah, dangle that preposition, baby!) "Well, this wasn't any good, this went on too long, they shouldn't have done this." You know what I say to that? FUCK. YOU. It's IMPROV. They're doing it ALL off the top of their heads. It's ALL MADE UP. ON THE SPOT. The fact that so much of it is a success is the important part, not the 3 or 4 things you did not like. It's an impressive talent. You wanna get mad? Get mad at a stand-up comic, who WRITES his own stuff, PRACTICES it, then gets up and STILL sucks. That's the person you can rag on. I doff my chapeau to the improv crowd, 'cause it takes BALLS to get up on stage knowing you have to entertain this crowd for the next hour and a half and you have NO idea how you're gonna do it